Tuesday, August 16, 2011


There, i said it. Gosh, everything in my life is becoming this crazy, dramatic mess. Honestly, if im not careful, im gonna wind up scraping pieces off the ground, and spending my senior year reconstructing myself.
Do you really tear me apart?
I hate to think that. Because, if you do....
What does that mean? If you do, then *I* need to stand up and do something.
Well, i did. It was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do.
I was so caught up in our conversation, i didn't even feel the dozens, literally, of mosquitos that evidently attacked me during this time.
But they left their marks behind. I have proof that they were here.
Well, you left a mark too. Because i cried so hard i physically cant cry anymore. It literally feels like i used all my tears that night.
But the most remarkable thing?
You didn't see a single one.
Nope. Thats what happens when you're how many miles away and we are forced to text. I didn't even TELL you. You have NO idea...
honestly, you have NO idea how broken i was. I relived our memories and i cried even harder because, inevitably, i realized that they are nowhere close to where we are now.
But you're honestly a different person. Its like, recently, things have changed!
And i hate it.
You wanna play truth is on facebook? Well, lets see...the truth is that im scared. im scared to know how you really feel.
im scared you'll say something that will mess us up once and for all.
Not to mention that now....
they're watching us.
They will judge and decide when we've gone too far.
And one false move will be fatal.
Our relationship will go under again.
And this time...it wont resurface.

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