Tuesday, September 13, 2011

things aren't falling apart...they are just changing. because they have to. circumstances have changed and we need to be flexible if we are gonna get through this. no, not "if", we WILL get through this:)
but i HAVE to accept the fact that summer.is.over. and things will just automatically be different. we cant sit around and text all day everyday like we literally did all summer. but we make it work. i know you care as you sit and poke me at every opportunity you have at school and as you text me every morning even though you're trying to get ready or i fall asleep on you... ;P
lol its not a question of you caring. its a question of me being able to let go and not only love you, but let you love me.

but this is not something im used to. things just, fall apart for me. they don't change, because theres never time. they always fall apart first. thats what i mean when i say that im not used to this. im not used to having someone there for me no matter what. im not used to being able to go to someone no matter what time it is and just tell them everything im feeling. im not used to anyone actually CARING what im feeling and being there to listen to every heart wrenching detail. people don't like sad things. ive never had someone who would take on my problems and almost...feel them like their own.
you mean so much to me..i just..

I NEED TO LET GO OF MY PAST!! i don't know how to do that. and, even worse....its not just my past.
im W.A.T.C.H.I.N.G. something fall apart. im watching things not work out. im USED to people leaving!! :/ so even if i teach myself to let go of my past, its still happening in my present. 
heres the thing. i need to learn to accept the fact that people are people and imma get hurt everywhere. i need to accept that but i ALSO need to accept that there are some good people left out there that DO in fact, actually CARE. >>>you<<< yeah. i NEED to get that through this stubborn head of mine!

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