i need to stop having these breakdowns. seriously. because i just become completely unproductive for the rest of the night. i cant think. i cant do anything.
soo..guess im not finishing my homework...which puts me behind for tomorrow. 
great, lets just start the day off behind...:P
i need to cry. i really think i do. cuz i just need to get this all out.
i cant keep stuffing it. im just gonna burst.
but then again, you really give me no other choice..
i could cry myself to sleep again. :/
but by day all you will see is my smile.
i really really hate this. like, a LOT.
because i know what happened LAST TIME i felt this way.
it was horrible. i...i cant even tell you. but it was bad.
yeahh..
I NEED THINGS BACK LIKE THEY WERE THIS SUMMER!!!
but evidently i WANT it more than i need it. cuz if i needed it, God would've given it to me. He always gives me what i need.
so i guess i don't need this.
but goshhh do i miss it :'( 
i miss not feeling like THIS all the time < /3
i cant even figure out how to get a grip on the situation.
i cant figure out anything.
im breaking down. im falling apart.
and theres nothing anyone can do to change this.
the damage has been done. 
and now im dealing with the consequences.
or trying to, anyways...
uh oh...im crying...gosh i hope no one sees me like this...