i thought i was strong. i thought i could hold it all together. at least, i thought, till i turned out the lights and "went to sleep".
and then i was texting my best friend and she asked what was wrong and i literally just fell apart. i just told her everything and laid on my bed and cried. i didn't want to cry because i was so afraid someone would come up and see me like that..and i didn't (and still don't) want to have to explain to any of my family..
but i couldn't help it. with my words, out poured my tears.
and, being the AMAZING best friend that she is, she totally listened to everything, talked me through it all, and then turned me back to God.
seriously..this song is my life right now.
and we talked and i listened to this song a lot of times on repeat...lol
and i finally feel better.
a little anyways.
and yeah. nothing.has.changed.
everything will be the same tomorrow.
everything is the same right now.
but one thing has changed.
i know imma get through this.
and i know that i have 2 people who will always be there to go through it with me.
my best friend has proved this to me over and over again.
and she always points me back to that God is here with me too<3
...i just...well i hope im as good a friend to her as she is to me.
and i hope one day ill learn to forgive and forget my past and not let it interfere with our future.
and i hope she knows the only reason im like this....
is cuz im scared.
ive never had a friend mean more to me.
which is why the thought of losing that friend...terrifies me to death.
but im trying to trust. trust God, trust her...
and trust myself<3 <3