I. NEED. TO. MAKE. SOME. DECISIONS.
And yet here i sit.
I need to figure out what i want. I need something to fight. I am going through day after day and i am so hurt but in a different way than i ever have been.
I just don't know where to turn.
But i cant be stuck any longer.
It hurts too much to let life pass you on all sides.
It hurts too much to be stuck in my same old stubborn ways.
I am sick of this and i want a way out.
No, not a way out.
Just a different way to live.
I wish that the one person that keeps popping into my head as the person who might understand all this was someone else.
Because the one person coming to mind i cant talk to.
But he shows up in my dreams. And the weirdest thing was, in my dream...we talked.
I mean....he knew me.
I don't know. I really just need to get my head on straight. But the thing is...i have worked all my life to keep it off kilter.
I don't like doing things "the normal way". I don't like being "like everyone else".
I don't like thinking things through logically.
And yet, thats exactly what i'm longing for right now.
Because i need to make some decisions.
I dont know right now.
Story. Of. My. Life.