hahaha i cant seem to actually keep up with this! Ha so maybe ill just do it for 2 days at a time, like this. or not. anyways, thats not the point.
this is getting easier day after day.
but today i looked in the car mirror and was like, "ugh". not good. cuz when i feel like that about myself, i wanna slather on a bunch of makeup so i look "perfect". And i cry over my lack of hair. i am still caught in between getting or not getting hair extensions.
one good reason i would say to get them would be that, with my hair this short, it poofs out and i have to constantly and consistently straighten it. which is really damaging. so i don't even know if it will grow good if i have to straighten it every day....hmm...
so thats where i am. mostly i avoid mirrors when i feel like this.
and i avoid scales at...pretty much all costs. i still stand in between diet or not.
idk and writing this is hard right now cuz i just have to face it all.
sometimes i like make believe so much better.
so, i will live in ignorance just a little while longer.