Friday, June 10, 2011

Days 9 & 10

hahaha i cant seem to actually keep up with this! Ha so maybe ill just do it for 2 days at a time, like this. or not. anyways, thats not the point.
this is getting easier day after day.
but today i looked in the car mirror and was like, "ugh". not good. cuz when i feel like that about myself, i wanna slather on a bunch of makeup so i look "perfect". And i cry over my lack of hair. i am still caught in between getting or not getting hair extensions. 
one good reason i would say to get them would be that, with my hair this short, it poofs out and i have to constantly and consistently straighten it. which is really damaging. so i don't even know if it will grow good if i have to straighten it every day....hmm...
so thats where i am. mostly i avoid mirrors when i feel like this. 
and i avoid scales at...pretty much all costs. i still stand in between diet or not.
idk and writing this is hard right now cuz i just have to face it all.
sometimes i like make believe so much better.
so, i will live in ignorance just a little while longer.


Kaitlyn Nicole said...

Aw Morgan, reading this is heartbreaking! And the worst part, is I can soo relate!! But somehow I have t believe that God is going to reveal the beauty he sees in us everyday. And maybe the real beauty is in that confession. The confession that physically we might not be Megan fox, but we're ok with it. Idk how long it will be until I truly believe that, but I hope i can encourage you in that!

Han and Momo said...

Yeah idk whats been going on lately. It was just like everything in the world felt like it was deciding to come at me. If i hadn't had this blog here to give an earful to, im not sure what i would've done!
And reading your blog has been heartbreaking too, but at the same time i can relate.
Yeah i agree...Im just not there yet, ya know? But i know that God will help me to see my real beauty somehow... and that He will do the same for you. And actually, your comment itself has been encouraging to me! <3 so thanks!