Everyday i choose between being weak or standing strong.

I am also trying to change...

me. 

The way i live and ESPECIALLY the way i dress.

And it has been difficult and it still is. But i feel like i have let things go unnoticed and unchecked in my life...

But no more.

My word lately seems to be weak.

I just cant seem to beat that. Everything in my life lately seems to revolve around that word, or its opposite. Strong.

I have to choose, everyday, in everything i do, whether i will be weak or be strong.

And for a long time i chose weak. And sometimes i still do. 

But i am done. I am done being weak and taking the easy way out. 

And this applies to everything in my life, little or big.

From not biting my tongue and saying something sarcastic and mean to my brothers, to the way that i dress. And yes, i envy those girls that can pull on their bikinis and short shorts and not think anything of it.

Sort of. 

I also feel bad for them.

And for the guys around them.

And, yes, a little bit for myself. Because i miss that. 

Walking away from one life and creating another isn't easy.

Nothing about this experience has been easy.

But thats part of the reason i think it will be worth it. 

Because most of the worthwhile things in life are things you have to work for.

I am willing to work. But its getting hard.

If anyone is reading this, would you please pray for me?

Thanks, love you <3 <3