Friday, April 22, 2011

"I'll never know, how much it cost, to see my sin, upon that Cross..."

I really don't think i will EVER know. I can't know. I can't understand how much He hurt, hanging there. He took on MY sin. I should have been the one to suffer.
But He did it for me.
That is unfathomable to me.
It occurred to me the other day...that God loves us!
I mean, i knew that, but....here's the thing. He is God. And He could have, when Adam and Eve chose to sin, He could have said, "well, these ones messed up." and left it at that. He could have left us to our fate, and started over with a new group of people...He could have wiped the WHOLE earth, with the flood, instead of saving some. He could have just said, "they went against Me." He could have left it there. He could have left us.

HE. DIDN'T. HAVE. TO. FIX. OUR. MISTAKES.

But He did it.
He hung there...on that Cross. He was beaten and whipped. He was mocked and laughed at. He was scorned...For me. 
How humbling.
He loves me.
He loves you.
He didn't leave us to our fate and you know what that tells me?
That HE. LOVES. US.
He cares or He wouldn't have gone through the trouble and pain of saving us.
Sometimes i think i know how it feels to love someone. And they hurt you but you hold on anyways.
And then i look at God. How many times do we hurt HIM?
And He still holds on. He still loves us.
I can sit here and say, "I have messed up". A lot.
I am nowhere near perfect. Or blameless. I can't go and sit in church and look at the Cross and say, "well, its a nice idea. How nice of Him to do that for the people that need forgiveness and salvation." And assume that i am apart from that! I can't sit there and say that because *I* need His forgiveness. His salvation. His mercy.
His love.
I want to be honest. I am a little nervous for service tonight. But i cannot pinpoint exactly why...
A couple of weeks ago at the retreat i went on, we ha d a service about forgiveness. We nailed pieces of paper with our sins on them to the cross. and i sat there and cried. hearing those pounds of the hammer. one after the other. i knew.
And i sat there just weeping. For our sins. For the pain that we had caused our Maker.
And our Savior.
I'm not afraid of confronting my sin. Because i've already been there.
Maybe it's because i hate to see what we did to Him. How much pain we caused Him.
When i was younger i didn't understand why Jesus had to die on the cross. I mean, i wondered why there couldn't have been a simpler way to do things.
But i realize now that everything is so carefully thought out. So interwoven. Things have to happen a certain way. The Bible says, "the wages of sin is death." It couldn't rightly contradict itself. Jesus died SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO.
Someone had to die.
Jesus took the rap for us. For our sin.
I'm just feeling like..so in awe today. I can't even believe it. I know i have to come face to face with my sin tonight. And i am ready. There will be tears. I know. It won't be fun but then, how much fun was it for Him to hang there, and to die for our sins?! Yeah...i am being selfish to try to do things any other way. I am not looking forward to this service. But i am choosing to go because it is wrong any other way. After what He did for me...i am being selfish to shy away from a powerful service.
It's Friday...But Sunday's comin.. <3
That's what gives me hope.
Jesus...gives me hope.
He has given me hope and so many others.
He died.
So i wouldn't have to.
He payed a price i never could have.
A price He never should have had to.

"He lived the life we couldn't..and He died the death we should have." <3 And i can never repay or even express my gratitude.

9 comments:

Lady Florimel said...

wow! this post really touched me. thank you so much Morgan for listening to the Spirit and posting what was on your heart! <3

Han and Momo said...

I am so glad that you could get something out of it! i was just working through some thoughts and emotions but i am happy to know that it meant something to you too!
God's Power and His Majesty and Mystery is so...overwhelming and awe-inspiring! It's like, the more i learn, the more i realize His Magnitude!
And i sat through service tonight and satan was at it again trying to tell me lies and i was just like, "God, please shut him up!!".
What you said before about the enemy trying to take away from the weekend...well you were right!! it was evident to me tonight!
So thank you for the heads up because then i was able to recognize it and ask God to just remove him and help me to focus on Jesus! <3
Thanks so much for the encouragement and your friendship! I am so thankful for and blessed to have you! <3

Lady Florimel said...

Thank you too for being my friend!! You have really blessed my life! <3

*Lizzie* said...

Wow... is all I can say Morgan. You said it all! I mean you totally took the words right out of my mouth! You are a wonderful girl God has been making beautiful inside and out! Your post says it all and only the Holy Spirit can do that! So I'm amazed! Don't you just feel awe struck when the Holy Spirit gives you the words for things like this? God has spoken to me in a lot of my posts on The Wonders of Christ! And I just feel so amazed because I know I didn't say all that but my King spoke to me and I listened!
God bless you this Easter Morgan! I'm very blessed to know you as a friend and I can see that God is moving in you in a powerful way Morgan! So I praise God for that!!! <3
Do you know what I mean? I hope you do.
Thanks again for this powerful post reminding us all that our Great King died...died for our selfish sins...
I'm in awe...
<3

A Servant for Christ,
Lizzie

Han and Momo said...

Thank you for your comment Lizzie!! So sweet :) And i couldn't agree with you more, that it is definitely God who gives me the words!! And i love love love your blogs!! All of them, but i learn a lot from your Wonders of Christ one in particular!! You are such a blessing to my life!! I love how you just let God speak through you and use you to reach others!! You are a shining example of Jesus! <3 Thank you and i hope you have an amazing Easter as well!!
Oh, how our God is merciful! Such a grand Sacrifice for such undeserving people!
I completely understand what you are saying and i am so thankful for your encouragement!! <3 You are such a good friend and example and i am so thankful for you as well!!
Yes, it is crazy to imagine...His Love for us is so unfathomable! <3 He Loves Us!! I, too, am in awe...<3

*Lizzie* said...

Morgan, your an awesome friend.
i hope you know that

Han and Momo said...

Awww thanks Lizzie!! You are also an amazing friend and such a sweet girl! <3 Thank you! I love reading you guys' comments! They mean so much to me! Yours made me smile and made my night, so thanks!! <3

*Lizzie* said...

Oh! I prayed it would make your day Morgan! So I'm glad it did! i love making people feel
special!!! <3 Because you are!!!
Hey! I LOVE reading your comments too!! Haha! Fun!

Han and Momo said...

Thanks so much Lizzie!! it definitely did make me feel special! You are such a marvelous friend and girl! :) And so special to me too, and Jesus!! :) I know when He looks down from Heaven and sees you down here serving Him and blessing so many people's lives in His Name that He smiles! :)