it's scary how increasingly fake i am getting.
i am looking at hair extensions. i have dyed my hair. i hate winter paleness and would get a tan if i could. i cover my face in foundation every morning and slather my eyelashes in mascara and i don't feel beautiful until i've done that. and no one can say anything against that because i never let people see me without makeup. there is a handful of people i guess, but it is small...
Anyways, the point is...fake nails. fake hair. fake faces.
and i stand here and say i want to be real.
i don't know where this is gong but its something i've noticed about myself. i am happy to know it now rather than later when everything had elevated and progressed and whatnot.
It is something i will be praying about later tonight when i write in my (newly established!!) prayer journal <3
because i don't want to be fake. not again. not when i was just coming to terms with being real. <3