Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012 is finally here. i dont think anyone fully understands just how excited i am. ringing in the new year last night was amazing. nothing happened, thats not the point. the point is, 2011 is FINALLY OVER!!! my gosh.. and although there was a LOT i want to leave behind..theres also some things and people i dont want to lose or forget..and all of a sudden im wondering if i can let go of certain parts of my past...without letting go of it all..? because i certainly dont want to do that! theres some thing id like to leave in my past, but there are others i want to take with me, into my present and, God willing, my know? *sighhh... so how do i do this? its already day one of 2012 and i want to leave my PAST behind. by that, i dont mean everything and everyone from yesterday, or from last year..but i mean the things and people i WANT there. the ones i have put behind me. the ones i dont WANT to remember; that i want nothing to do with. but how do you let go of your past, and carry parts of it..with you? and besides, i never have been able to set aside the people that have hurt me. i carry their scars on my heart and i constantly think of them. and, just when i think ive moved on, or forgotten them, something comes along and remind me that i never could. something rips back open those scars on my heart; i bleed thinking of them; i have to try to heal, yet again...its a vicious cycle. i hate it. but its just what always happens. but this is a new year. 2011 2012 ♥ we can make this amazing. but we have to let go of our pasts! we have to give the future room to HAPPEN. we have to have hope that things CAN be different. or else they arent gonna be. if we dont even 2012 a chance, then we cant complain when its no better than 2011.

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