Saturday, November 12, 2011

worse than just knowing whats gonna waiting.
just wait and see.
anyone that knows me knows that isnt something i do well.
i can be patient physically...sorta...but emotionally? nope.
youre making me wait and my heart is getting more and more attached..
which honestly, could be one of my biggest mistakes of the year. because if in waiting, youre searching out other girls or, i dare say, SEEING other girls, and im sitting here letting my heart get attached..
and i would trust your words...but, ya know, i havent heard from you in days.
and your words are fading in my heart.
sure, i have your texts locked on my phone...
but i miss hearing you SAY them.
i miss being with you.
i cautiously replay memories of that night..
i miss you.
that was hard for me to admit.
i never thought i had pride..
but seriously, there is no room in love for pride.
love destroys all your pride. and i think, thats a good thing.
but its been hard.
my pride tells me not to miss you bc if you dont miss me then i look clingy and desperate and whatnot.
NEVER a word i expected to describe me.
honestly, im learning a lot about myself this year.
yesterday, i fell apart..
tomorrow ill probably fall apart.
today i might even fall apart.
i want to be happy again.
i hadnt been truly happy in SO long..
and then you came along.
and i smiled more in those first few days than i think i have all year.

but just because someone makes you smile, dont EVER think that means they cant make you cry.

because they definitely can.

im sorry. for..whatever i did that..
im just sorry.
and i miss you.
it may be stupid.
i may be stupid.
i miss you and thats that.


*Lizzie* said...

It looks to me like you're going through a lot. Just remember God will always be here, even when all hope is gone. He will always be your God. He will never forsake you! He is always going to be here!! He understands.
Praying for you girly. <3

Han and Momo said...

definitely some difficult times....thank you so much for your prayers! it means so much to me, as do you :) love you! <3