Monday, November 14, 2011

Why is everything so confusing, maybe im just out of my mind..

in case anyone's wondering, yeah, he broke my heart.
he broke my heart and i just...let him.
he left and i just...let him.
he lead me on and lied to me from the VERY START...and i just let him.
is this my fault?
it sure as heck feels like it.
to basically everyone around me, i looked like i had my head on straight.
well, as hard as i tried to keep it on straight, i just couldnt. i got caught up in his lines, lost in his eyes...

"this doesnt mean i dont love everything about you, but sometimes thats not enough.."

that in and of itself is horrible. love. not.being.enough.
but whats worse?

"Im not enough and i wont be ever if not not cut out.."

*I* wasnt enough for you.
i wasnt.

goshhhh i am SO upset with her. your LAST gf. because i feel like she tainted you. you were so nice, such a sweet boy...and then you went out with her. and i feel like you held me to her standard. 
well, IM NOT HER!!!
get that thru your head!!!
and the thing is, i TOLD you that much. i TOLD you i wouldnt be the girl she was. you said that was fine. you said you RESPECTED me.
youre a liar.
im hitting the keys so hard and typing these words so fast...i am SO mad at you. and her. there arent even words.

"im done hopin we could work it done thinkin you could ever change, i know my heart will never be the same, but im tellin myself ill be ok..."

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