Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hopeless Love

so there is a million great opportunities.
so i sit in church thinking, "this is it! i want to do this. this is my calling. i am finally gonna make a difference!".
but i walk out...and go back to exactly what i was doing before...
so i am inexperienced in a lot of ways.
so i am young, and still have a lot to learn.
does that mean i should sit around and do nothing?!? I think not!
where do my passions lie? Teens. people just like me. girls. i really have a heart for teenage girls. pregnancies, eating disorders, family issues, just TOUGH STUFF!! life isn't easy. i know that. im not pretending it is. this is one part of reality i will face, because SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE!! we can't all just sit by and blindly play along. who on earth is that helping?!
do you think that girl planned on getting pregnant at 17? some might argue that it was her choices that got to that point (most likely), and therefore the consequence she must deal with. and that is true. but...i don't care! i don't!  what is the point in being mad at her? what does it help to point out where she fell short? do you think she can't see that? and don't even get me started on the people that try to influence her to "take care of the 'problem'". seriously????? argh! i can't...i just can't stand that!
why do i always gravitate towards the teen pregnancy thing? i don't know really. that is one area i have absolutely NO experience, seeing as how i've never even dated a guy! is important to me. i feel like God has really laid it on my heart. i really care for these girls. alone, broken, confused, hurt, scared... feeling like the have no options. other than the "easy way out", which, when you think about it, really isn't that easy after all.

"Innocence lost,
what a tragic thought
hopeless and confused
what if that was you
friendless and alone
with nowhere to go
wouldn't you want to know

Doesn't anyone care
is there anyone there
or am i just alone
where did everyone go
when did my life become such a mess
you know this mistake sure feels like a stain...
on the wedding dress

why can i still feel your hand
why did you say you'd be here when you obviously can't
why did you promise me
a life filled with comfort and safety
you told me to close my eyes and fall you'd catch me
it was when i hit the ground i knew you were lying
and i am ever so slowly dying
and i
-repeat chorus-

my believing in you
gave me reasoning to
give up my beliefs
give up my security
i feel into doing
things i really knew
were wrong
but you kept saying you loved me all along
but now when i look in the mirror
know i'm not beautiful like you told me
you only said what you thought i wanted to hear
or maybe it's true but why should i believe
knowing you only said it
to get me in bed it
doesn't mean that much to me anymore
and i just wish i could do over what we did before..."

speak the truth? or am i way off base...?

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