Friday, October 29, 2010

"come on, come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out!!"

"you and i walk a fragile line, i have known it all this time, never ever thought i'd see it break...."
how could he know? how could he have any idea? and how is this possibly fair? 
yea, maybe i am blowing this waaaaay outta proportion. maybe. it would be typical of me. i need to get away. i need to think about this. i'm remembering last year. it was a few days before Christmas actually. i wrote some songs. haha, surprised?? 
but i remember how i felt. and suddenly, this is all just washing over me again. all those horrible feelings. i was scared and do you feel? do you even know? do you have any idea that your whole world might just fall any second…?
i wanna go sit on the swing in the park. pull my sweatshirt close but still be shivering. because, shivering, you feel more….literally. and i wish you were here so i could hug you. i just wish…i wish you knew i am here for you………i wish i could be here for you. i wish you were here…
it cant end like this. i thought they had it all so right. but you were never a stupid boy. i know you can see what is going on. better than i can, for sure, cuz i ain't even there. but…its like i can see it. and everybody was laughing tonight. i didn't see the hilarity. its not funny. not when its happening to you, not when its happening to anyone. or even has the chance of happening….especially someone close to you… . its just not funny and i know you know it. it hurts. hurts like nothing else can hurt. this is more than the scraped up knee that was a result of learning to ride your bike. this is life. and it likes to hit you hard.

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