"do you see how much i need you right now...when you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missin you, when you're gone, the face i came to know is missin too, when you're gone the words i need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok....i miss you...." ♥

once upon a time...

and again, i am struck with news so harsh it makes me numb. actually, i was numb long before this. i have been numb since i saw you today. i couldn't even look you in the eyes...

BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

sometimes....ugh. i need to take a step back.  i need to breathe...and mostly...i need to pray.

but i don't feel like i can do any of that. i can't feel right now. except...

to still long for him. even when i know oh i KNOW this isn't about you, either one of you...and yet...its too big for me to carry alone.
That. That is why i need you tonight. this burden is too heavy, even for me...Especially for me. To carry. Alone.  wish you could be here....could and would...two very different things. tonight..i think i need to depend on my girls to pray for me...i'll try...

but i just don't feel like i am going to get very far.

Hopefully God will understand...♥