Sunday, December 26, 2010

"But still i can't explain..."

"why'd i have to go end it like that
thought i moved on then you brought me right back
to the night you took my kiss away from me
i took yours too, then i lost you
bring me back to holding hands in the rain
i swear i'd ease your pain
lift you up so you could finally see
the love you want of me
ive had time and i've had change
i've been broken but still i can't explain
our the rain..." 

i had a chance. chances like that don't come along very often, least, not for me. but i was given one.  i'm pretty sure at the time you didn't realize i'm like a fire hazard. i was liable to blow up at any second.
and ruin everything. 
i'm pretty sure coming into this you didn't know.
but i'm also pretty sure that going out of it you knew.
considering the fact that you were covered in burns and scars of various degrees, some that might never completely heal, but rather, remain as a permanent memory.


wait a second.
that was me.
I was the one...that came out covered in burns and scars. i was the one that knew she would never completely heal.
i'm the one that still hasn't.
not you.

"you can't change
can't take back the words we exchanged
they were like fires burning me repeatedly
and they left a permanent scar as a memory
yea, you left a permanent scar as your memory
so when i look at it
its of you i will think
what a great way to be known
and to go...out
once upon a time i trusted you with my heart
now all you are is a permanent scar..."

♥ so that's it. the final chapter. the end. it's like watching a movie, where bad things keep happening but you think it'll be okay at the end, and they'll get their happily ever after. you hold onto that dream, and when the end rolls around... one of them dies. 
haha, yea, ok. get real. its a movie. you know nothing like THAT ever happens! movie's always have happy endings. more often than they don't, that's for sure.
but real life: yea. thats different.
because this is my real life. this is what i have to live with--maybe...this will be like a movie...

am i wrong to hope for that?
but, you see, maybe i am still stuck in the middle of the movie, the part where bad things keep happening and fate or whatever keeps trying to pull the two people apart...maybe this is the part i have to live and it just feels like it's being drug on but...


no, i guess its not. it's not really over, unless i'm done fighting for you. 
i want you to know something.


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