i know better than having to pretend. i know better than that because of You. i am so sorry that i cannot be everything that You deserve. but then, You knew that, didn't You? You knew that i could never be everything i would need to be. that's why You came. You came to save. and save You did! and i am eternally grateful! but i don't always act like it. i know that too. and i am sorry. i am sorry for the millions of ways and times that i fall short. i am not too prideful to admit that i need You. and i do wish that i was better for You, but i recall Your Words. "Healthy people don't need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough." You called me. just as i am. i don't have to be perfect. and if i were perfect i would have no need for You. and believe me, i have need for You!!
...You made me new! that realization hits me and i almost smile. i cannot even believe this. why? why would You do that? why would You bother with me? for a second i think to say that there are people better than me. but then i realized that it doesn't work like that. we are all sick people. none of us are healthy. it may be that the people who think they are healthy are the sickest of all.
one thing i know? i am sick. i am a sinner.
another thing? He called me! :)
"I have come to call sinners.." Hey! that's me! not that that is something to be proud of! but...He doesn't want me to wallow in misery and self-pity either.
Lord, every time i fall, You pick me right back up.
You say, "try again."
so i do.
and i fall.
much like Peter, when he walked out on the water to You. he was doing good. he had faith. he was walking on water!
and then he wasn't. in the next instant he was drowning.
because he took his eyes off of You.
help me to never take my eyes off of You.