Saturday, March 5, 2011

"I'd rather break with you, make mistakes with you...than be perfect all alone..." ♥

Right here. Right now. this is it. if i were able to tell you something, i'd tell you that i love you. but i don't want to tell you first. and i fear rejection.
but more than all of that...
i want you to come to me. i want you to make the effort.
i want you to be the man.

"Lead me, with strong hands,
stand up, when i can't
don't leave me, hungry for love,
chasin dreams, but what about us?"

i have been digging into God. investing in Him. i really felt like i needed to get my life right with Him before i could add you to the picture. and i'm not saying i have it all figured out, or that my life is perfect. i'm not saying i only built up my relationship with Him so i could have you.  i'm not saying any of that, because its not true. but i am saying that i knew God had to come first. and i have been trying really hard to PUT Him first.
i still want you though. that hasn't changed. i just hope someday... you will be here. i pray that i never STOP needing you.
i'm not sure which would be worse.
needing you but not having you...
or having you...
but not needing you...

one thing i know for sure. i will ALWAYS have AND need..Him. ♥

oh! and the title of the post...i don't really think i'm perfect. its sort of a figure of speech...saying that even if we mess up and things aren't perfect, at least we are handling them together. at least i am with you. because no matter how beautiful or perfect things could be without you (though they'd never be perfect, cuz i can't be perfect!) ...they would all be various shades of grey to me. i'd rather be a colorful, messy drawing with you, than a flawless black and white photograph alone. i have learned that making a life with someone isn't easy. but that its always worth it. "You lose when you give up, what you love..."
Jesus showed me real love. my parents...have shown me what love for another person looks like. i'm not saying its easy. i'm just saying...

i'm up for the challenge.


Kaitlyn Nicole said...

ahhh! your mind must be connected to mine, because I could seriously relate to every word you were saying! :) love that!

Han and Momo said...

awww thank you!! hehe i feel the same way about your posts lately too!! its kinda crazy how that works out! :)