But what if i want something more?
Why is it that every time i fight for what i want and win, i start to second guess if its really what i want after all?
i got what i wanted. so why i am i trying to backtrack now?
I am feeling so much right now that i don't even know how to get it all down on paper. And i know i will feel so much better once its out there and i can see my feelings for what they are…but sometimes i just don't even know where to start.
everyone keeps asking me, but i don't have an answer for them.
because, as much as i thought i did, i don't know what i want.
no, thats not true. i know what i want. i just don't know what the right next move is.
i am so quick to make a move and think about it later. not very Christian living though, now is it? yeah..so i am trying to wait on God. Which is a lot easier when you have
B. time to decide.
but i have never been patient.
and i am forever under time constraints.
still i am trying to take time to seek out God's Will…guess its time to open my Bible and ask my girls.
if anyone reading this has advice for me…ha. i guess it would help if i told you what im talking about! ^_^ hahaha
my job. my boss wants me to do illegal things, confronted and lied to my mom, got angry with me on the phone and, when i told her i was uncomfortable working illegally (for cash) at an offsite warehouse with people i don't trust, she told me she "doesn't care what i'm comfortable with".
i was offered a job with my mommy. fabulous! <3
its summer work.
should i keep this other crummy job as backup, in case i don't find something come fall?
or should i run and never look back because….that is what i SO long to do?
do i stay, or do i take a risk, jump, and see if i fly?
<3 Thanks love you! :)