"I think i've wished on every star..."

"what do i really need love for
it leaves me heartbroken
leaves words unspoken
things i dont say
things i wont say
cuz i cant
you'd run away
and i cant...let that happen

oh oh
how many times can i say
close your eyes itll be ok
but its never ok
i think ive wished, on every star by now
when we kissed, you said we'd never be apart
but now we're apart
just look at my heart
in pieces in my hand
if that dont tell ya nothin
did ya know that ya broke it
oh oh, oh oh,


i won't shift the blame
i know what part i played
and i also know that i'm done
get away from this game
as fast as i can run
it's not the same
its never the same

oh oh
how many times can i say
close your eyes itll be ok
but its never ok
i think ive wished, on every star by now
when we kissed, you said we'd never be apart
but now we're apart
just look at my heart
in pieces in my hand
if that dont tell ya nothin
did ya know that ya broke it
oh oh, oh oh,

take a deep breath, breathe in the cool air
i didnt expect, to see you there
what are you doing
since when do you care
never stick around
broken unresolved
arguments and runnin away
left me with pieces of a heart to explain"


is anyone ever really your friend?? how can you tell?? i am so sick of being alone. so sick of thinking people are your friends. only to find out they're not. i am not blaming anyone or looking for sympathy, none of that. but... why does this keep happening? why do i get my hopes up time and time and time....and time again...only to have them be shot to the ground when the seemingly inevitable happens...? i want a friend whose shoulder i can cry on...and who i can laugh with. have a good time and make memories with. i want my facebook to be full of pictures of me and MY friends havin fun together...i wanna have friends to have fun with.
i want to have a friend to have sleepovers with and drink soda and stay up till 3 am and laugh hysterically over something that could only be funny to us.
and i wanna say that i know better than this. i wanna say that i don't need this...but i do. and like i said, i am not looking for sympathy from anyone that reads this. i'm not...i dont even know why i am posting this but, then, why do i ever post things on here?
i know that this is not a happy post. but it's a heartfelt one. it means something. and yea, i'll probably get over it. i usually do...i dont know what else to say...just know i'm really not asking anything of anyone, ok? thats why im hesitant to post this on here, because i dont want to appear manipulative, but if i am treating this blog sort of as my journal, as i subconsciously have been, then i shall post this...ok enough rambling... <3