Sunday, September 19, 2010

"Forever You Are Faithful, Don't Let Me Be Turned Away From Something Good, Don't Let Me Be Turned Away From You"

Dang! here it is! i have been praying for God to just capture my heart. to pull me back to Him. where i really wanna be. i am so excited and typing so fast now that i am misspelling practically every other word! haha, but thats ok. man, this just really feels like a wake up call. this could be it. this could be what i really need. and more than that, it gives me a chance to really build up my faith while at the same time, really making a difference in someone else's. :D i am soooo excited right now!

"Nashville Needs Rebuilding – Join a team that, under the direction of Samaritan’s Purse,
will be rebuilding up to 20 homes in the Nashville area. Four teams with leaders are in place:
Oct. 10-16, Nov. 7-13, Dec. 5-11 and Jan. 16-22, 2011. Per person cost is $125. Interested?
Contact Pam by email or 414-412-0415 or visit her table on Sept. 19 and Oct 3.
Prepare to be changed forever!"


Ahhhhhhhh!!!! in case you dont know, i am absolutely in love with nashville. when i went there, briefly, with my daddy two years ago, it was just like, everything connected. all the pieces of my life felt like they fell in place. I feel so open, so creative, so....happy there. or anyways, i did. and yes, i still remember these feelings vividly. even two years later. because i have been holding onto these feelings praying and wishing and hoping that someday, one day, i would get there. i would get back to the place that.... <3
what better place for me to connect with God? what better place to make a difference? what better place to...be?
but i dont, in any way, want this to be all about me. i really dont. the purpose of a missions trip is to change someone else's life. but i dont see what would be so wrong with me rebuilding, or rather, restrengthening, my own faith there too :)

again though...there is a roadblock. but isn't there always one? is that just life?
i don't wanna go into this selfishly. i dont WANT to view this as simply a free (ok, $125 isn't exactly free , however, that is beyond the point) but as just a way to get me to Nashville. i dont want this to be something i do only for myself. or even with myself first in my mind, if that makes any sense.
but i also don't want to just reject this idea that God could've very well placed in my life.
Maybe..just maybe...He wants me to go...maybe the enemy is trying to talk me out of this BECAUSE it could be good, not only for me, but for a lot of other people too... hm....so i am praying about this. for sure! :) i really wanna go. and i really want God to want me to go.
but even if that is all decided and i know its what God wants and its what i want and need and all that pretty stuff...convincing my parents may be a different story...<3

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