there is something about fall that makes me happy...actually i think it's mostly just the changing season. and i can say that this is not where i wanna be. that there is a place that would make me even happier, but i won't...not now anyways. i just wanna say that, for a moment in time, i am happy. and this might be taken away tomorrow, it might even be taken away in the next minute. but, while its here, i will choose to embrace it and enjoy it...i realize that this post is probably not gonna be as long winded as my sad, heartfelt posts. there is a lot more to say in those, plus there is usually an issue or emotion i need to work through. but happiness just is. :) i can just be happy, no questions asked.
i got new bedding today! aren't you so excited for me? ;) haha. its fall. my mama is making amazing pumpkin desserts, frosted bars and pumpkin fluff :) ahhh...so refreshing. so comforting. this is love.
if you couldn't tell from my last post, there's been some drama lately. it happened last night and i was so angry, i could feel my blood boiling. like, literally. i was sitting there just shaking. you know...sometimes i make way too big a deal outta things...i blow them out of proportion. or anyways, my heart does. i rarely deal with things rationally. that's just the way i am.
but i got it all out last night. the game is over. and so i am just letting it go. i don't see the point in dragging this out any longer than it has already gone on.it went on for way too long and so i am not gonna let my heart drag this out too.
i am happy today, in part, because i choose to be. i am just shutting up everything negative and just breathing. and being happy. i am in love today. with the One that captivates me and will never leave me.
i started a new devo today. i couldn't tell you the last time i had one of those, or at least, one i did! i found my Bible today too. i am ashamed to admit it, but i did not know where that was for a while... :/ i'm coming around. i know its what i want. and when i want something i am pretty good at pushing myself to get it..to some degree...but i also have God on my side here because this is what HE wants as well. i know it is and so i know He is rooting for me. I know He is waiting for me to come to Him. <3
i am happy because of Him. Happiness is a choice. everyday we must choose to either fall into all the negativity in our lives, or we can choose to see the glass as half full. maybe, somedays, we can completely overlook the glass and just see the world, see Him...and i hope it makes us smile. and if it doesn't, then maybe there is something we need to do about that. God made this world for us to enjoy. we shouldn't always have to resort to fairytales and dreamworlds to see a happy place. our world, the world our Daddy made for us, should make us smile. and if it doesn't, then i think we need to change that. and maybe changing the world starts with changing your attitude. try it. even if it doesn't work, what have you got to lose...? :)