Yeah i know ive had a lot of posts today but...

I am sick of being held captive. You know how you have that one thing in your life that you just cant get free of?

Well, I do.

And i want freedom so badly i can taste it.

But whenever i try to achieve it, whoever i try to reach for it, i get so close...

and then something yanks me back down.

Hard.

And i just lay there. I feel sorry for myself. And then i look up and i see the Hand that was there for me the whole time. 

I. COULD. HAVE. HAD. FREEDOM!!

But I either didn't see the Hand or chose to not grab it, and THAT is the reason i fell.

Because in my selfishness, i thought i could do it on my own. Or i thought i didn't need help. 

Or i thought help wasn't there.

Or, lets be real honest, sometimes the "right thing to do" isn't the thing you want to do at all.

And so you choose to let yourself be drug under.

For me, one of the weakest times for me is when i am throwing a pity party. Because in that moment i am so far from God, that i am an easy target.

AND. I. GIVE. IN.

But i am so sick and tired of this!!

I WANT to be free. I want to not be held captive another second longer.

I need Someone to set me free.

I cant set myself free. My friends and family cannot set me free.

Only God can do it.

I'm reaching for Your Hand...that is...if You'll still take me.

But the best part?

Is i know He ALWAYS will. <3