-Its been too long. Im in too deep. If he lets go now. Of this secret that he keeps. He swears it'll be. His very last straw. And then the blame falls to me. For not believing him all along.-
I don't know what to make of this. Somedays, it feels like a plot. A trick. A scheme. And i wouldn't say this except we have been down this road before.
But then there are days that it feels so real. And i don't know what to do. I feel bad for ever NOT believing him. And in that moment, nothing feels more real, or more frightening.
I swear when he ran out that door i thought he was never coming back. Thank God for people that had the common sense to go after him.
Because i just froze. And that scares me too. That in a moment like that, i would freeze.
Regardless, he is here now.
I just don't know. I am just so mind-locked. I cant even think. This whole thing is so new to me. I am used to talking people through things, but when he needs action....
and he needs it from someone else.
See, the HARDEST part of this, is that he doesn't need it from me. *I* am not what he is after. Which is FINE! But the girl he wants it from cant and wont give it to him. And i don't blame her. Thats not it at all. She isn't ready and all these other things. Her reasons are legit.
But is his threat?
Because that outweighs everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
Not that she should give in. Not that she should do something she is uncomfortable with.
But *THAT* takes precedence over anything else.
Oh, how i wish....
but i wont even bother. Wishes cant make this better. Wont change anything.
wasting my time typing on here wont make this better either. but i just don't know what else to do. where to turn. whether to believe this or not. but i guess i should. cuz in the end, ill regret it more...if i don't.
but if im saying i believe him...
then i need to act.
and i don't know how ......