Saturday, November 6, 2010

"drop everything now, meet me in the pourin rain..."

i imagine you…like all the time. somedays, there's hardly a moment passes that you're not on my mind.
and im a busy girl. i have things to do..and yet…you always seem to find a way to distract me.
but i like it. i'd be lying to say that i don't. 
i miss you like crazy. i imagine you here with me sometimes. and that eases the pain…a little. but sometimes its so intense…i can hardly stand it.
"how did we, ever come to this? i never thought you'd be, someone i had to miss.." i took for granted all the time we had together. and now you're not here..and i cant be there..*sigh.
this is quite a mess, is it not? but i am smiling even saying this, thinking that a mess with you would be better than perfection alone. 

maybe im crazy. 
wouldn't surprise me ;)
wow…but you see, the funny thing, is that i can change none of this. i wish i could. i often long for the days we will be together forever and i will never have to miss you. 
and who is to say that it will ever go like that, but i dream. i am a dreamer by nature. and you are my passion. one of em, anyways ;) haha, i wish…
i wish you were here.
i wish you were close to me.
i wish you sarcasm.
i wish you knew how much i love you.

wow, it scares me to think that you might not love me! i just thought about how i feel for you, and then pictured you sitting in your country home…what if you don't love me?? why did even that thought scare me so much?
maybe it has to do with wanting one thing…one person that loves me unconditionally. oh, i know my Jesus does. but i guess i always imagined you loving me that way too. "not in spite of, but because of, your flaws…" <3
love. you. me. together. there's just no other way… <3

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