hey yall :) its morgan. ive been thinking and im not really sure what i wanna talk to you guys about first, but... i guess first id hafta say that im sorry i havent been keeping up on this very well. But i promise that i am going to be doing a better job. Ok, now, off to blogging!!
Ive been thinking about church today. My family has been searching for a church for about 2 years now. We go from one church to another just trying to find one that suits our needs. That will fill us spiritually and lead us closer to God. I havent been that big on church ever. First because i was really just too young. And then as i got older we were leaving our home church because we were leaving our home and moving away. And what i just learned (although i think i knew parts of this) is that our "home church" just pretty much turned their backs on us once we decided we were leaving. And that was pretty crummy of them especially because we had been soooo involved in that church. We had been serving for years, we were there about every other day of the week being involved in many different ministries and whatnot. We filled the needs. And then when we had a need, they left us hanging dry.
So i guess that put a bad taste in my mouth about church. That, and when we moved, i just wanted to have what we had back home. And we just couldnt find it, we couldnt recreate it. Whenever we tried out a new church, i think i really just kept comparing it to our old church. And thus far, we've never found anything like that church. But we went back once and i realized it wasnt as great as i was remembering it to be. But that really wasnt even the point. I just liked that because we were so involved, we knew everybody. And knowing people and being known is an incredible feeling. Everyone loves it...
Oh, i guess one other thing i should mention so im throwing this in here. i am viewed as the "good Christian girl". the "by the book" kind of person. the funny thing is, i hate rules and i havent gone to church or even liked church much, in quite a while. And although i like the idea of church now, i cant find one that is anything like im even thinking a church should be! Go figure! anyways, its storming so im gonna sign off and so watch it (although technically, since i added this in here after i typed the whole post, theres still more for you to read even though im signing off!)
So now we are still trying to find a church. But ive really given up the notion of trying to find a church that compares to our old house. But i'll be honest. I have replaced this idea with a new one.
I want to start a church...moreover a youth group. More than i even care about having a good church to attend regularly, i care about a youth group. Because if there is one age group of people i feel God has really put on my heart, its kids my age. Things are so different for teenagers in this generation than they were for like even our parents when they were teens. The world is just a different place now.
So what I'm thinking is this very informal setting, where high school kids can get together. But here's the catch. 2 of them really. First: i really don't like most high school kids. I think they can be very shallow and immature. Second: I AM A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!!!!! yea, i know. What i really wanna do is help kids just like me. and kids that have had harder lives than me...
IDK. actually, i do. I wanna meet with them and talk and get coffee and just be a part of their lives. This is both a new desire and an old one. Its new to me how much passion i am suddenly feeling about this. But i have also been thinking about this and rolling it over in my mind for a while. i realize to some degree i need to be a little older to do this. i need to be maybe 20 or so. still young enough to be relateable but old enough to be like, not one of them.... or maybe there is something i can do now. maybe there is something i can do to relate to these kids, these teens, that are just like me.
i think ill pray about it. i mean, if this is God leading me, then i definitely wanna listen and follow. and if not, i dont wanna jump on the bandwagon or whatever too early, as is my habit.
im gonna sign off now, as this is getting long and ive been here awhile! :)
thanks for listening...er rather, reading :)