allow me a moment to wallow, for i have nowhere else to go with these feelings.

once again, its been a weekend about everyone but me. big surprise. and i know better than to wallow in self pity, but really, what else am i supposed to do with these feelings? because i cannot share how i really feel here. i wear the uniform smile. but the problem is, its coming undone. the threads are pulling and its definitely wearing thin. i hate to rain on the parade. i hate to not be able to smile but its because i always DO…that people expect so much. i look like i can handle it, so they just pile it on. although sometimes i feel that no matter how i looked, people would do what they needed to suit their needs anyways.

some people anyways.

so what do i do? as i type this i can feel a whisper in my soul. give my cares to Him. i know.

but pressures..stress…and i am ready to explode. could He really just take all that from me? 

i decided to seek comfort from the Psalms, as i could feel a nudge in me to do so. and comfort i did find. but im still not sure of what to do or where to go. i shouldn't say that, actually. i know WHAT to do. i simply do not understand the details and the specifics. ♥