:) yea. if i close my eyes, and forget that fact that i can't feel my toes, the sledding hill can feel just like the playground. i can pretend that the house isn't being heated, but that the air conditioner just isn't working.
the only thing that's missing is the beach...i haven't quite found a way around that one yet ;)
but i wonder why this feels so amazing? yes, theres no school. another thing, is i have no commitments. i worked my summer away. so while this was the best summer ever for a lot of people...i missed it. or i let it pass me by. quite honestly i think i will never know which is the truth...or why. why i let it go, just like that. like it meant nothing to me when, in reality, it meant everything.
but people make mistakes. people hold onto things they shouldn't...
and people let things that mean the world to them...go without a fight.
its human nature. when something gets hard we immediately let go, or hold tighter. i don't know which i am more...but i think its more of the latter. but this summer...i let it go. it got to be too much for me. there was just so much stuff i had to do and deal with, that something had to go.
somehow, that something ended up being my summer.
but now its winter break. my friends are back together. we are living at someone's house everyday...
and i can almost pretend. close my eyes and...
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